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So I watched Frankenweenie directed by Tim Burton last month. I could’ve written all this the day I watched it but I was so full of rage when I came back home from the cinema. So i’m doing it now.
I thought it started out alright. A young filmmaker and scientist, Victor Frankenstein is heartbroken when he loses his dog, Sparky (who is his only friend) in an accident and decides to bring him back to life when he learns the key to do so in science class at school. He succeeds but fears that his dog may be in danger if the others find out.
Well, so far it’s a child-friendly version of the famous Frankenstein story, so what could possibly go wrong?
Meanwhile at school, the kids are competing against one another to win the school’s science fair, and must come up with a great idea. But when Victor’s classmate, Edgar finds out about Sparky, he asks for Victor to team up with him in order to keep it a secret from the others. Nothing weird here.
Now here’s where it all goes downhill.
The other kids soon find out when Edgar shows off the invisible fish he and Victor made when experimenting and feels defeated. The kids force Edgar into showing them Victor’s methods and attempts to bring their own dead pets back to life. Really dumb kids making really dumb decisions. I kind of saw where this was all going.
But obviously, shit goes down and the pets turn into mutated beasts which go ape shit and destroys the ongoing festival in their town that night. Everybody freaks out, and Sparky, who ran away while all the experimental stuff was going on comes back to save the day.
There’s this Japanese kid who tries to bring his dead pet turtle back to life, but accidentally turns it into some mutant, gigantic Godzilla-like monster. I didn’t know whether I was supposed to find this funny, though because I thought that the story was going to be a bit more serious.
Anyway, unfortunately Sparky loses his life once again, with Victor crying his eyes out- you guessed it, once again. But the parents who once found out about Victor’s resurrection of Sparky, teaching him that he cannot simply bring the dead back to life because of its immorality decides to go easy on him and asks for help from the others to bring Sparky back to life *sighs and shakes head in disgruntle* once again.
This is the part which really pissed me off. Why wouldn’t they let Sparky die? I thought that it was going to be a good lesson for kids: You can’t bring the dead back to life, no matter what reason.
But the people at Disney where probably like, “Oh, but that’s just too sad. We don’t want kids leaving the theater crying! (insert more bullshit here). What happened to the old Disney, where they showed death (really sad death scenes which make you cry your eyes out) and show some goodness of life in the next scene? Bambi is a great example. It’s pretty intense stuff for young kids, but that’s just reality. It’s not always a happy ending or miracle story.
So the adults of the town gather around with their cars and start their engines to electrocute Sparky back to life. This was already bad enough for me, like I said. But then they have this “moment” where Sparky seems to be dead and Victor even shows signs of giving him up and letting him die like nature intended.
Okay, so I don’t know why the fuck they had that unnecessary moment where they try to bring him back to life if Victor was alright with it? Why are you such an indecisive bitch, man? Why are you letting your parents and the townsfolk do whatever they wanna do to your only friend?
But it doesn’t end there. Sparky lives. That son of a bitch starts wagging his tail while still held tight in Victor’s arms, and he’s like, “Oh HELL to the NO! Not today, BITCH”.
WHY? WHYYYYYYY? Okay, I knew I was going to get some soppy happy ending because it’s a modern Disney kids’ flick. But THIS. This was just a fucking mess.
I’m DONE with these overused story lines. Just thinking of them makes me vomit. Why the fuck would this piece of shit movie be nominated as the best animated film of 2012? WHY? I gotta say, animation-wise, I enjoyed it a lot. But I cannot, SIMPLY CANNOT tolerate this film.
I watched Wreck-It Ralph today. I enjoyed the animation, the plot twists, the characters and the various video game references which made me laugh out loud.
This is the type of animated movie that should be seen and recognized as the best animated film of this year. NOT Frankenweenie. If you’re still reading all of this, I would like to thank you for sticking around and being patient with my bitching.